The Taste of Sex

Imagine that every time you ate you plugged your nose as you ate.  Yes you would still taste your food somewhat if your nose is plugged but it is a fact that our sense of smell directly impacts our tasting of food.

This is what many married couples do as their sex life falls into a rut. They simply stimulate those obvious erogenous zones (like a woman’s breasts, a woman’s vulva and a man’s penis) and it is straight to intercourse.  This would be like just eating your food but never really savoring the taste of it.

Before we further obviously men and women need to have good hygiene and if a person does not do this the “taste” side of sex may be less than pleasurable.  So if you don’t have good hygiene man or woman – fix it today!

The Bible shows that we can enjoy the taste of our spouse

Do you enjoy kissing your spouse?

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.” – Song of Solomon 1:2 (KJV)

Do you enjoy as your tongue touches theirs and taste of their mouth? Is it better than wine to you? It should be.

Wives do you enjoy the taste of you man’s penis?

“As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.” – Song of Solomon 2:3 (KJV)

The apple tree was a symbolism in ancient erotica of a man’s penis. This symbolism would literally of had the idea of a woman kneeling in front of her husband in the “shadow” of his penis and her delighting to perform fellatio on him.

As a wife you ought to be enjoying and savoring the taste your husband’s penis and the pre-ejaculate that goes in your mouth.  This should not be gross or unappealing to you. You should also allow your husband to finish in your mouth sometimes and enjoy the taste of his semen as well.

Husbands do you enjoy the taste of your woman’s vulva and vagina?

“I would lead thee, and bring thee into my mother’s house, who would instruct me: I would cause thee to drink of spiced wine of the juice of my pomegranate.” – Song of Solomon 8:2 (KJV)

The pomegranate fruit was a symbol of a woman’s vulva and vagina in ancient times.

As a husband you should desire to taste the “juice” of you wife’s “pomegranate”. It should be intoxicating to you. If is not you need to cultivate a desire for it.

You should also be allowing your wife to climax in your mouth as often as she would like. The truth is that most women do not have orgasms through vaginal intercourse.  Most women have orgasm only through oral or manual stimulation.  This is something every Christian husband should be comfortable with and he should also help his wife to be comfortable with it.

Conclusion

We should desire the taste of our spouse’s lips, their skin and their genitals.  If we allow ourselves to we can cultivate a taste for these things.  We should savor our spouse’s body like one would savor a good meal.  We should enjoy the tastes and scents of the one God has given us.

This will draw you closer and will make for a more intimate and arousing sexual experience with your spouse.  Trust me – sex after you have tasted one another and savored one another first is 100 times better than what most couples do when they go straight to intercourse.

I encourage you today Christian married couples – go and savor the taste of the one you love!

Picture sources – All photos are used under the creative commons license
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

Couple French Kissing(first photo)

By KoS – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=1280529

Apple Tree (second photo)

https://pixabay.com/en/apple-tree-branch-apple-fruit-429213/

Pomegranates (third photo)

By Flickr user Jessica May H, using a Canon EOS 350D Digital camera – [1], CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=9360102

 

 

My husband never performs oral sex on me

Detail_of_Édouard-Henri_Avril_(23)

You’re frustrated and upset. Why would he not do something that is so easy to do and gives you so much pleasure?

What you are asking for is natural and normal

Let me first start off by saying there is nothing unnatural, or perverted or selfish about you wanting your husband to perform oral sex on you. Men have been performing oral sex on their wives for thousands of years. The image below is an ancient drawing in Pompeii.

Pompeii_-_Terme_Suburbane_-_Apodyterium_-_Scene_IV

So now that you understand your need for your husband to perform oral sex on you is completely normal, let’s look at the reasons why he might not be doing it.

These are a few of the reasons men either stop performing oral sex (otherwise known as Cunnilingus).

  1. You don’t perform oral sex on him (otherwise known as Fellatio).
  2. You don’t keep yourself clean down there.
  3. You have never told him you would like it.
  4. You have stopped him from going down there when you are near your period.
  5. You don’t have sex with him as often as he would like.
  6. He doesn’t want to because he thinks it is unmanly
  7. He thinks you should be completely satisfied with his penis in intercourse.
  8. Some men have been taught oral sex is unchristian

You don’t perform oral sex on him

You can’t expect someone to do something for you, that you are not willingly to do for them. It is the height of hypocrisy. So if you realize that you are not doing this for him, then you need to.

You don’t keep yourself clean down there

When it comes to sex, and ESPECIALLY oral sex, cleanliness truly is next to Godliness. Ladies make sure you are regularly making sure your vulva is clean. Ask him if he likes it better shaved or unshaved. I personally like public hair on my wife. It is sexy and natural and it is the mark of a woman. Realize though that keeping yourself clean does not mean you need to wipe out your female scent, for many men that is turn on.

You never told him you would like it

This is one a lot of women miss. They just assume their husbands should know they want oral sex performed on them. Well some guys are just dumb. For me personally it is a big turn on, and I wish my wife would let me perform oral sex on her more often. I know you are frustrated, but you need to keep your composure.

The first method of communication I would suggest is talking to your husband outside the bedroom in a kind and unthreatening way. Many men take great pride in their love making ability, and this can come as a great punch to the gut. So make sure you tread lightly.

The second method of communication I would suggest is in the bedroom. While you are having sex, tell him you would love him to “eat my pussy”. You could use nonverbal communication and try to gently push him down there.

You have stopped him from going down there when you are near your period.

Perhaps your husband used to perform oral sex on you, but there were a few times that you stopped him because you were near your period or on your period and you were worried about not being so fresh down there. That is a perfectly acceptable reason to stop him.

But you need to do it gently, and just give him a brief explanation that you are near or on your period. When you are done with your period you need to go out of your way to make sure he knows you are “open for business”.

You don’t have sex with him as often as he would like

Often times a man will pull back on the special things when you don’t have sex with him as often as he likes. Some women only get horny a few times a month, and on those few times they want all the stops pulled out. But they may not realize that they have been denying their husband, or just phoning it when he has needed more often than them.

Some men may consciously, or unconsciously withhold oral sex and other foreplay and go straight to intercourse with their wife to protest the lack of quantity of sex. You need to make sure you are meeting his needs for quantity, so that in turn maybe your need for quality will be met better.

He doesn’t want to because he thinks it is unmanly

This is one as a man I just don’t get. Pleasing your woman is bed is as manly as it gets. Short of a woman using a strap on and performing anal sex on her husband, I can’t really think of any other sex acts that a man should consider to be unmanly.

I will talk about how to handle situations like this shortly as my answer will be the same for these last few items.

He thinks you should be completely satisfied with his penis in intercourse.

This is simply a pride issue, nothing more, nothing less. He is not thinking what will really satisfy you or give you pleasure, he is thinking of what he wants you to feel.

Some men have been taught oral sex is unchristian

There are some churches, as well as some Christian families that teach their sons and daughters that oral sex is a sin. This is one of the most difficult obstacles to overcome. It is not easy to ask someone to do something against their conscious.

Conclusion and Suggestions

The first five reasons your husband might not be performing oral sex on you have to do with you. You need to make sure you are doing right, and clearly communicating to your husband what your needs are. You need to meet his sexual needs for frequency or oral sex before you can come to him with your needs.

But many women reading this post will be saying “But I have done EVERYTHING you have said, and he still does not do it!” So what do you do now?

You need to pray hard about what you do next. This is an issue I struggle with my wife about. These are your choices on how to handle this situation when it is clearly a problem in his court:

  1. If he likes oral sex and you have been performing it, then stop doing it. See how long it takes him to notice and when he asks tell him that if he is not willing to perform it on you, you are unwilling to perform it on him. I realize some may say this is an unloving act, but it is an act of tough love.
  2. If this is a religious conviction for him where he won’t let you even perform oral sex on him, then you may need to take a different approach. I would suggest trying take him to a Christian counselor who does not believe oral sex is wrong, and let them explain from the Scriptures why it is not wrong. If he is unwilling to go to a counselor, the use the verses on this site to go through and show him that oral sex is in fact in the book of Song of Solomon.
  3. If neither of the first two methods work just continue to pray for him. Believe me I know how frustrating this is, as I said I face the same issue with my wife. But as Christians this is not a legitimate grounds for divorce, as horribly frustrating as it may be.

The reality is that some of us are just sexually mismatched with the person we are married to. Some men and women have a much greater need for high quality, toe curling sex, while others just want to go in and do the deed and be done. We simply need to pray, pray, pray.

But then there is the sexual fantasy arena…

I have written on this site extensively on the subjects of nudity, masturbation and sexual fantasy. There is nothing wrong with you masturbating and imagining your husband performing oral sex on you, or looking at drawings or paintings of men performing oral sex on women. Looking at actual people can be pornography(which would be wrong), but there are a few sites that have married people performing oral sex so that would not be sin. I will be trying to post links to images I think would be ok for Christians in the coming months. Also there is nothing wrong with reading erotic novels that may describe oral sex and then masturbating to those things you are imagining.

I realize sexual fantasy is a far cry from the real thing, and it should never become something that makes you give up on trying to make your sex life better with your husband. But it can act as supplement, or band aid of sorts, for what is lacking in your sexual relationship with your husband.

Before you completely dismiss what I am saying about masturbation and fantasy and nudity please read this articles where I wrote extensively on these subjects:

What is the Biblical view of nudity

Is masturbation wrong for a Christian?

I Corinthians 7 and Paul’s admonitions about sex in marriage

If you have read many articles on this blog, you will notice I allude to I Corinthians 7 a lot so I decided to dedicate a post just to looking at this very important passage of scripture verse by verse.

I Corinthians 7:1-7(KJV)

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.

For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

I am not a KJV only person by any means and you will see me quote from many translations of the Scriptures.  But I chose the KJV as our starting point.  I will give what is my understanding of each verse (based on other translations and commentaries as well as my own opinion).

7:1

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

When Paul says “to touch a woman”, he is actually talking about marriage – a reading of this passage will confirm that to be the case.  He is not saying that man is forbidden from holding a woman’s hand or hugging her (as I have heard many times growing up in conservative churches). He is talking about it is good for a man not to get married.  But before we jump on the celibacy band wagon let’s see what he has to say in its entirety.

7:2

Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

Fornication Biblically speaking refers to sex outside of marriage. So Paul is saying to avoid having sex outside of marriage, people should get married.  Now here we go from him saying in verse 1 it is good for man not to marry, and then he seems to be saying everybody should get married to avoid fornication, but again we need to let him finish to get the full understanding of the passage.

7:3

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

“benevolence” literally comes from the Greek meaning of “kindness” or “good will”.  So it’s literally saying the husband should render due “kindness” to his wife, and she should do the same for him.  At this point all the ladies are saying – yeah! I just need to be kind to my husband and all is well.  Sorry to disappoint, but “benevolence” in this context is a loaded term, just as “touch” was a loaded term in verse 1.  I believe though that “kindness” does reflect the attitude with which we should follow Paul’s commands in the coming verses, God’s Word given through his prophets and Apostles is never by accident, every word matters.

7:4

The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

Verse 4 really smacks modern feminism right in the face. The key word of “power” means just that, power or authority. The wife has authority over her husband’s body and the husband has authority over the wife’s body.  Paul acknowledges that men and women may have strong sex drives at any given point with his equal reference to husbands and wives authority over each other’s bodies.

The idea that “it’s my body and I can do what I want with it” has no place before marriage or within marriage for a Christian. Before marriage as Christians our bodies are the temple of God (I Corinthians 6:19), he owns them.  And Ladies yes this refers to all the parts of the your body, not just your southern region. I am not advocating that a man should ever use force when it comes to sex with his wife, but a wife should in love offer her husband her whole body, including her breasts and even her mouth(oral sex).

After marriage, while God still maintains primary ownership of our bodies, he sublets them to our Spouses to have their needs met.

Verse 4 is also the reason that husbands should listen to their wives in how they dress and how they keep their appearance.  For instance I keep my hair cut and my beard trimmed the way my wife likes it. If she wanted me to shave my goatee I would, but she likes it that way.  I wear the clothes my wife likes to see me in and I lovingly call her my fashion adviser.

This concept equally applies to wives. Ladies you should dress to please your husband, and apart from wearing something that you believe would be immoral, you should do as your husband asks.  Ladies that includes in the bedroom wearing lingerie your husband would like, and in the privacy of your own bedroom I can’t think of anything that would be immoral to wear.

7:5

Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

Now the rubber meets the road. Up to this point Paul has spoken of “due benevolence” and then about power over one another’s bodies in marriage.  Now he speaks in terms of fraud. To deny one another of the things he has previously stated (power over the body and sex) is to defraud your spouse.

Fraud is when a person goes into an agreement, says they will do a list of things and then does not do as they stated.  An example of fraud in the business world are these fly-by night construction companies that give people construction estimates, then take their money and run. Paul is saying that a spouse commits fraud when they deny the sexual rights of their spouse. While there are some men who deny their wives, the reality is more often than not it is the wife denying her husband.

Maybe as Christian wife you consider yourself to be pretty honest.  You would not steal from a store and you would never knowingly make a dishonest agreement with anyone.  But do you know ladies that as honest as you think you are, if you consistently deny your husband of his sexual rights to your body you are committing fraud? It is just as if you went to a gas station, pumped your gas, and then drove off without paying. In fact its even worse, if we make the analogy correct, imagine that someone you are supposed to love(a relative or friend) owned that gas station, and you just drove off without paying.   Paul is clear, when you get you married, you are giving your body to your spouse for the rest of your life.

Paul also answers the age old question – who determines how often a married couple should have sex?  “except it be with consent for a time”, so only with the consent of both parties can sex be denied. Many people (and by people I think mostly women) believe that sex should only happen by consent, when in reality denial of sex should only happen by consent.

Now should a man be considerate of his wife? Absolutely! There may be times for medical reasons or other reasons that a wife cannot perform her duty (and yes it’s her duty!). But sex should not be denied for things like “I am not in the mood”, “I just don’t need it now and you should only want to when we both want to”, “You have not earned it” or “You have not been romantic enough for it”.

The last part of verse 5 refers to the temptation of Satan. I believe every spouse needs to evaluate their performance with their spouse from time to time to see that they are not leaving their spouse open to temptation.  Obviously you cannot account for every way your spouse could be tempted, but you need to put in a good effort in this area.

For men – ask yourselves these kinds of questions in regards to temptations your wife might face:

  1. Do you compliment your wife on how beautiful she looks?  Or is the only time she hears that from a guy at the Super Market or at the place she works?
  2. Do you tell your wife that you love her on a regular basis?
  3. Do you talk with your wife, do you share an emotional connection with her?
  4. Do you try to make sure she is fulfilled in the bedroom, that she is sexually satisfied?
  5. Do you deny her sex when she initiates it?

For women – ask yourselves these kind of questions in regards to temptations your husband might face:

  1. Does your husband only see you in sweat pants and tee shirts? Do you still put make up on and nice clothes? Or is the only women he sees with makeup and nice clothes the ladies he works with or the lady at the store?
  2. Do you put on sexy lingerie for your husband? Or is the only women he sees in lingerie the ladies in the Victoria Secret commercials?
  3. Do you let him see you naked? Or do you scold him like he some kind of pervert for wanting to watch you undress?
  4. Do you give him loving sex, do you give yourself completely to him when you have sex or are you just phoning it in?
  5. Are there things you refuse to do in bedroom? If so is it because you believe they are Biblically wrong or is just because you are uncomfortable with it? Realize that anything you refuse to do in the bedroom opens an automatic line of temptation with your husband.
  6. Do you flat out refuse your husband sex for reasons other than medical?
  7. Can you say that you put in a 100% effort to fulfill your husband’s sexual needs and fantasies (as long as they don’t violate Scripture)?

7:6

But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.

What Paul is giving permission to do is to marry.  He is not commanding to marry, only giving permission to marry. Thus qualifying what he said early about letting “every” man and woman have their own spouse.

7:7

For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

In verse 7 we see Paul explain what meant in verse one when he said it is good for man not to touch a woman.  He rightly says though, it is a gift and certainly not a command from God not to marry.

Summary of I Corinthians 7:1-7:

The Apostle Paul is stating these truths and commands given to him directly by God:

  1. Guys and gals, it’s good to be celibate if and ONLY if you have the gift of celibacy from God.
  2. If you happen to find yourself desiring the opposite sex, then by all means get married or else you might end up having sex outside of marriage.
  3. If you do get married, realize that your body has now been given by God to your spouse – to meet their sexual needs.
  4. Also if you do get married – you are forbidden from denying your spouse their sexual rights to your body unless they give you consent.  Even when consent is given it must only be for a short time and you need to come together soon to avoid temptation.

How should Christians handle ED(Erectile Dysfunction) in their marriage

This is another one of those sex life killers for many Christian couples.  You both are getting frisky and then he loses his erection.

I know first hand how this feels as I am now approaching 40, and have gained weight over the years. (Both weight and age can be contributors to ED).

It does not happen for me very often, but when it does it can be very frustrating.  Often times my wife does not handle in the correct way and I can see she is laying there frustrated.  Often times it is just because she wants to get sex done and go on to whatever else she was thinking about, but sometimes it is because she actually wanted it.

The causes of Erectile Dysfunction(ED) are many, including stress(work or family or other), physical illness or weight and general aging processes.

Ladies – how you handle it when your man looses it is CRITICAL. You can have a frustrated look and make him feel more pressured(and if he feels more pressured it will take him forever to get it back).  OR you can react in a more helpful way to your husband and realize that he needs you to calm him down and make him feel relaxed.

Do you know one of the best ways to get your husband’s erection bac ? Yep you guessed it – oral sex. Give his penis a good sucking, but do it gentle and slow and then build up.  But the key is patience.  And ladies there is absolutely nothing disgusting or bad about sucking you husband’s penis after he has been in your vagina.  It is all natural, you just need to wrap your head(and your mouth) around it and your will be fine.

Also guys – don’t be too proud to get on some ED medication.  There is now a generic version of Viagra you can ask your doctor for and its a lot less expensive.

In the end sometimes a man just can’t get it back and that is when his wife need to let him know its ok, and guys yes it happens to us all so don’t beat yourself up.

Why a Christian wife should perform oral sex on her husband

WifeOralSex

Most men have a very hard time articulating their sexual needs – they know what they are – they just don’t know how to express them.  They may be embarrassed or have some other reason for not sharing their needs with their wives. But make no mistake, all men want oral sex, fellatio, a blow job or whatever else people usually call it. It is true that some men have been taught that it is a sin to perform oral sex on their wife, or for their wife to perform oral sex on them. So they resist only because they have been taught a false teaching. Other men deny their need because they think women will think they are disgusting for wanting it. But none of these things take away from the fact, that in the depths of their hearts, all men want their wives to perform oral sex on them.

It is not not an abnormal thing to want, wives have been performing fellatio on husbands for thousands of years.

Édouard-Henri_Avril_(20)

How many men want their wives to perform oral sex?

Let me make this easy ladies – it’s 100%.  The same could not be said for you gals, but for us guys it is definitely 100%.   Another way of putting this is – if a survey were taken and 80% of men in the survey said they wanted there wives to perform oral sex, and 20 percent said they did not – the 20% are lying! Their wives were probably standing over them when they took the survey.

Believe me – I have known some pastor friends of mine who tried to act like it was not a big deal if their wives did not do that – and yes ladies men do talk about that – and no I don’t think it is sinful or wrong(it can become wrong under certain circumstances).   I always tell them they are flat-out lying to themselves and they have just given up and settled – and they never can disagree with a straight face.

Types of oral sex

Before I can get more into the why – let me quickly define the types of oral sex so we know what we are talking about:

  1. Sacrificial oral sex–  this where you perform oral sex on your husband, and get nothing back sexually except his undying gratitude.  This is all about him.  Maybe he comes home from work one day and has just had a horrible day at work.  While he is talking about his bad day, you place your head in his lap – and do what only his wife can do for him. That is sacrificial oral sex.
  2. Oral sex as foreplay – this where you perform oral sex on him as foreplay leading to intercourse –  this is always a great prelude to intercourse(and probably the context in which oral sex should take place the majority of the time).
  3. Mutual oral sex – this is where you satisfy him orally and then he satisfies you orally or you get in some position where you can satisfy each other at the same time.

What oral sex means to a man

If done with the right attitude sacrificial oral sex shows not only your love, but your humility as a wife.  Not only is it physically pleasurable(obviously) but you doing it – expecting nothing in return says a lot about your character to your husband – it is a completely and utterly selfless act.

Now I know someone could stop me and say – some wives may perform this act for selfish reasons and that is true.   Perhaps the husband and wife have been looking at furniture stores for a new kitchen table set.  The husband had a certain price range in mind and the wife sees one that is far outside the price range and she just has to have it.  Her husband objects saying it is too much money. So she tells him they will “discuss” it when they get home.

When they get home –  she persuades him – if he will allow her to get the more expensive dining room set – she will do him a “favor”.  That is no longer an act of love – but an act of sexual manipulation.  Sadly this occurs in a lot of marriages.

In fact for many husbands – the only way they ever get oral sex is if they buy their wives some expensive thing she wants or do something she wants.  So really the wife in this case is no more than a glorified prostitute – and this is very sad.   I had this situation in my first marriage, but thankfully not in my second marriage.

Oral sex even as a prelude to sex – shows the man you truly care about his sexual needs.  If you simply want to have a little foreplay where he kisses you and you kiss him, with perhaps some fondling and then go straight to sex – you are a selfish lover.  You are showing him you only care about sex when it is completely and mutually beneficial at all times – and you are not willing to make any sacrifices.

Why it is important for a woman to let her husband perform oral sex on her?

Yes there are many woman who love their husbands to perform oral sex (Cunnilingus) on them.  Personally I have never understood the ones who don’t want it very often(unfortunately my ex-wife and second wife fall in this category).  But it is important for a woman to also allow her husband to perform oral sex on her.  I understand ladies you have those times when you just don’t feel so fresh – and don’t want him down there.  But that should be the exception and not the norm.

Much of our self-esteem as men comes from how we feel about how we please our wives in the bedroom.  I know many women think that it is stupid – but look it up!  Get ten relationship books and eight out of the ten will give you this very important truth.  Besides that  – it is big turn on for most men to do that with their wives.

If you have a problem with him down there – perhaps you need to see a sex therapist and examine the psychological barriers that prevent you from enjoying his pleasuring of you.  There is help if you are willing.

If you are one those women with a rare husband who does not want to perform oral sex on you, see this separate article I wrote on that subject:

My Husband never performs oral sex on me

Did you know the Bible talks about oral sex?

The following passage alludes to the women craving the taste of her husbands semen – yes that is exactly what the allusion is ladies.

Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest  is my beloved   among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade,     and his fruit is sweet to my taste.

Song of Solomon 2:3(NIV)

This next passage is speaking of the woman’s desire for her husband to perform oral sex on her – literally to taste of her fruits

Awake, north wind,  and come, south wind! Blow on my garden,  that its fragrance  may spread everywhere. Let my beloved   come into his garden     and taste its choice fruits

Song of Solomon 4:16(NIV)

And for those who would reject these allusions and try to write them off as referring to something else – there is not one single prohibition against oral sex in all scripture.  Nothing in scripture limits sex to intercourse – period.

Ok the big question – what about swallowing?

Yes it has to be discussed – and no it’s not a sin to talk about it.    I don’t think this is a deal breaker for most guys – even if you just let him finish in your mouth from time to time and you gently spit it out – that won’t bother most guys. However while it is not a deal breaker, most men would tell you if you want to do it perfectly then you have to finish, and you have to swallow – that is perfect Fellatio(oral sex on a man).  So if you want the A ladies, you have to take the task to completion, else you will probably get a B, even though most guys would accept a B or even a C.

Not allowing him to finish at all in your mouth(whether your swallow or not) is offensive to a lot of men.  They see it as their wife rejecting them(when in fact she may not be).  So tread carefully here.

This is something you can learn to enjoy, I know that seems self-serving from a guy, but I have read from plenty of Christian women in marriage books or web articles make the same claim(that you can learn to enjoy it).

A lot of it is in your mindset – it is not like you are a prostitute having to do this on strange men – you only have to perform this on one man – the man whom you claim to love and with whom you share your life, perhaps the father of your children.  So if you think of it this way – you are tuning yourself to him and him alone – it is not such a daunting task.

If you have read my articles on nudity on this site, you will know that I do not believe nudity in and of itself is wrong for a Christian(not even to photography one’s self nude). With that being said, this site below offers more information on oral sex but a WARNING to you, it does feature actual married couples having sex.

Related article: Is masturbation wrong for a Christian?