Is it unreasonable for my husband to expect to see me naked?

After_the_Bath_Woman_with_a_Towel_by_Edgar_Degas

The following is taken from a discussion on Yahoo Answers (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20121127011916AAx68W7

Is it unreasonable for my husband to expect to see me naked? Dani asked 11 months ago   I’m 27 and have been married for three years to a wonderful man whom I cherish and love more than life itself. he and I have a wonderful relationship and are best friends. he is the first man I have ever been with sexually. I dated a few other guys in the past but was not ‘active’.  We have a great sex life, but the only bone of contention he has is that I refuse to let him see me naked-at any time. When we have sex I always wear a long t-shirt and prefer the lights out if possible. I don’t change in front of him, nor do I let him see me naked in the shower, bathroom or under ANY circumstances.  He always thought it was a little strange, but it became a little joke between us because he says he always thought I’d eventually get over it. Recently though it has been really bothering him. He feels that if I’m his wife that I should want to be naked in front of him. I’ve noticed it starting to be more of an issue ever since we have talked about starting a family etc. His stance is that it’s a little intimate piece of me that he doesn’t have, however I’m sticking to my guns.  This isn’t born out of any religious beliefs -I’m not religious, nor does it have to do with any ‘bad experience’ etc., and it has nothing to do with poor body image. I’m a pilates and aerobics instructor and am impeccable shape and very happy with my body. Nor is it cultural, I’m half irish and half french and live in southern california. I simply just don’t think it’s appropriate for a woman to prance around naked in front of anyone at any time, even if it’s her husband. I just find it undignified and quite frankly a little bit slutty putting it all on display like that.  Is he being unreasonable by wanting me to do this? Should I cave on my convictions just to make him happy?

Additional Details

@Zombie: It is about something…my personal belief that it isn’t something that is okay to do.

11 months ago

@Rain: Yes, 2 do become 1, but that does not mean that I should have to do something that i believe to be wrong. I shouldn’t have to sacrifice my personal belief for him and then make myself feel unhappy or that i did something I simply don’t agree with.

11 months ago

@ Veronica: I don’t think you read the last half of what i wrote. I am very confident -that is NOT an issue. I love my body, I simply do NOT think it’s appropriate to bare it all to anotehr person -husband included!  And pole dancing and burlesque? I view both of those things as incredibly slutty…I’d never consider either one of those things. I don’t WANT to be ‘comfortable’ with my clothes off. Morally I don’t believe in it.

11 months ago

@ Everyone: So everyone thinks I should just throw my convictions and personal beliefs right out the window because it’s what my husband wants. What i feel or want doesn’t matter. Shame on all of you. THAT is what’s wrong with marriage….assuming the woman must do whatever her husband wants to please him even if it goes against her personal views. Nice.

I found this on Yahoo answers and I just could not pass up commenting on it.  What a selfish woman!!!

Unfortunately many women have this attitude with their husbands –  they may not be brave enough to post about it but they feel the same way.  Then these same women get mad when their husbands glance at another woman, or they discover their husbands have been looking at pornography. Please do not misunderstand me, I am not saying one wrong makes another wrong right.  But when a woman denies her husband those things which God has designed her to give to him(whether it be in sex or allowing him see her naked body) she is displaying utter contempt for God’s design and her selfishness toward her husband.

If she didn’t want to show her husband her naked body(and give him sex as well) she should never have gotten married.  She needed to go get therapy to understand her utter selfishness before she got married.   A woman who gets married and expects not to have to display her nakedness to her husband, along with giving him her body in sex, is like someone joining a football team expecting never to have to play football.

I realize the woman in this posting has not claimed to be Christian or even religious, but for those women reading this who are Christians let me remind you of these Biblical passages:

I Corinthians 11:9(KJV)

Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

Proverbs 5:18-19(NASB)

Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice in the wife of your youth.
 As a loving hind and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
Be exhilarated always with her love.

I Corinthians 6:19-20(NASB)

 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?  For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.

I Corinthians 7:4-5(KJV)

The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.  Defraud ye not one the other

So in a nutshell this is what the Bible teaches:

1. Woman was created for man

2. Men are to find comfort and satisfaction in their wives’ body

3. God owns all our bodies as believers.

4. In this world(as opposed to heaven), God has given Men authority over their wives’ body(and likewise the wife over her husbands).

So based upon these scriptures it is crystal clear that God wants husbands and wives to give each other their bodies(and not just for sex).  This is also why a woman should wear clothes that her husband approves of(as long as he not asking her to go half naked in public).  But behind closed doors in their room, if he asks her to wear lingerie she should do it.  If he asks her to wear nothing, then she should do it.

If a woman refuses to give authority over her body(seeing it naked, having sex, having say over what she should wear or how she keeps herself) she is not in rebellion against only her husband, she is also in direct rebellion against God.  She has committed fraud, she is defrauding her husband.   In God’s eyes whether she said the words or not, when she agreed to marry her husband she promised not only to never give herself to another man, she has also promised to give herself(including her body) completely to her husband.

I would not fault this guy if he divorced this woman.  She has defrauded him of his marital rights and entered into a marriage contract under false pretenses.

3 thoughts on “Is it unreasonable for my husband to expect to see me naked?

  1. I’m a feminist to the core, and every woman has a right to do what she wants with her body, and to have sex when she wants. That said, she sounds like a lousy lay!

  2. Donna

    Q.My husband does not let me have time to my self,like lay in the tub or go visit my sister by myself or even go to shop by myself or go spend a few days with my elderly frail mother…An if I am not naked all the time he becomes aggressive an says it his right…I am confused

    1. Donna,

      There are always extremes. I don’t think it is right for any husband to insist that his wife be naked at ALL times, that is a bit extreme. While I completely believe that a wife is to submit to her husband in all things, there is such a thing as a controlling husband. Husbands should give their wives space to have girlfriends and visit and talk with their sisters and mothers – this is something that most women truly need in their lives to have good mental health.

      It sounds like you have already spoken to him about this several times so it may be time to bring this to the attention of your Pastor to ask for counseling for you and your husband.

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