A “copout” as defined by Webster’s online dictionary is “a failure to face some difficulty squarely.”
These are common sex copouts I have heard women say, along with my translation of what it really means and then my response:
Copout 1: “Why would you want to have sex with me when I am not in the mood?”
Translation: “Why do I have to do anything I don’t feel like doing?”
Response: Because being a grown up means having to do things you don’t feel like doing. Do you think your husband feels like picking up those heavy smelly trash bags every week? Do you think he feels like moving the furniture around when you get the itch?
Copout 2: “I can’t just get in the mood!”
Translation: “I have no control over my emotions”
Response: If your husband wasn’t in the mood to go to work would that be ok? If your husband wasn’t in the mood to buy you flowers on your birthday or anniversary would that be ok? There are lots of times we are not in the mood to do things we need to do. Sometimes we have to make ourselves get in the mood, and get down to doing whatever it is we need to do.
Copout 3: “All you want me for is sex!”
Translation: “I don’t understand why you need so much sex from me and I think it’s shallow.”
Response: While it is true that this is not always a copout when a woman says this – often times it is. Sometimes a man is completely neglectful of his wife’s emotional needs, he doesn’t just talk to her, he doesn’t tell her he loves her, he never compliments her – and the only time he approaches her is for sex. But often times a woman will use this as smoke screen – to cover up her own lack of understanding her husbands sexual needs as man – it’s a way of making him feel shallow and carnal because of his deep sexual need for her.